I'm Available for Weddings & Bar Mitzvahs: 9. 22.08

So, we’ve sailed through the strait of water that separates Europe and Asia. We’ve visited ancient churches in Bulgaria and the famous Potempkin Steps in Odessa, Ukraine. We’ve even visited Romania, home of Transylvania and Count Dracula’s Castle and what’s been the highlight for me during the last three days? I made marzipan flowers…see? What do you think? I’m the next Food Network star!

Three days ago (I’ve lost track of days of the week) we sailed the Bosporus. It was wild to find ourselves between two continents, sailing up a waterway that men and women have been sailing through for thousands of centuries.



The next day we found ourselves in Bulgaria (I heard someone refer to it as Ulgaria because they didn’t find it so pretty. I’m inclined to agree). Not much to speak of but we did find ourselves in a Bulgarian Orthodox Church where two monks chanted in harmony together beautifully. (I'll try and upload the video later).

Speaking of ugly, because it was cold outside that day, I decided to wear my Obama ’08 hat to keep my keppe warm. Just as I was departing for our tour bus, some fat American guy walked by, looked at my hat and exclaimed loud enough for me and about 20 other people to hear, “there’s another idiot!” I yelled out “who said that?” and this guy with a gut so big that he probably hadn’t seen his feet in a few years said defiantly “I did.” I considered the source and left it alone. But I was fuming. I wanted to yell out something but couldn’t come up with a comeback fast enough. Then I looked around to see if people were nodding in agreement with him or me. But I should’ve known. No one seemed to care. They wanted to start their tours, damnit!

The next day, we were in more picturesque Odessa, Ukraine but the weather was pretty bad with rain coming down in sheets and a cold wind blowing like it was the middle of November. Now instead of signs being in letters we could recognize, were definitely in a place where they used the Cyrillic alphabet. I couldn’t decipher anything. Despite the rain, we were able to visit the magnificent Potemkin Steps and later, marveled at the architecture that reminded me a bit of St. Petersburg, Russia; buildings painted in pink and yellow and there were large boulevards lined with Sycamore trees. It’s unfortunate that the weather ended up being so bad because Odessa seemed to have a great deal of character and I would’ve liked to have explored more of the city on foot.


After a delay of a couple of hours last night due to rough seas, today we visited the last of three countries on our Black Sea tour - Romania. Romania was probably my least favorite. Except for the magnificent Beaux Arts Casino that was built around 1913, the architecture was gray and drab. Even the people seemed stuck in another era as they walked about in long shapeless dresses, clunky shoes and pants and jackets that were straight out of the video for “Bad.” But I guess that’s understandable when you realize that the country just came out from one of the most oppressive Communist regimes only in the 1990’s. An interesting side note: our tour guide told us that if you wanted to make a lot of money in Romania, just open a chain of private restrooms for public use. There are so few public restrooms available in Romania, he said, that people would be willing to pay just to use a clean toilet. Imagine that, a chain of public restrooms. I’ll call McCrapper; anyone want to make a fortune with me?

Seriously, there is money to be made in the countries of Bulgaria, Romania and Odessa. They have joined the European Union but the change over is still a few years away. So before they switch over to the Euro, it’s clear that there are bargains to be had. Seeing, for example, that the average salary in Ukraine is $500 a month, one could easily snatch up some cheap land or set up a business. And if commerce isn’t your style, just take a vacation here. Traveling is very cheap. Granted you wont get the usual luxuries you might be used to but still pretty reasonable and it would certainly be an adventure, if that were your thing.

Back to my marzipan. And no scoffing at my stylings; from what I’ve read on line about the Emmys last night, my marzipan making class sounds like it's way more exciting!

655 Jack