A long, last vacation blog 9.28.09

Cruising the high seas isn’t for you if:

You don’t like people who talk loudly. I’ve noticed a pattern now and it has nothing to do with the fact that cruises typically attract older people who might, in turn, be hard of hearing. Outside on dry land, people talk a moderate level and even when the occasion necessitates an elevation of voice volume (“Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!” or “You’re what???” or “My stock is NOT worth how much?!”). But for some reason, the open ocean makes people want to talk loudly. They talk loudly at meals (I’ve heard every detailed conversation from people several tables away); they talk loudly during on board presentations; they even talk loudly in the library (“Miss, why is it that I can’t get my “In-ter-net” to connect to my favorite soap opera web site?”). I figure it must be that we’re so removed from civilization, from the throngs of people we encounter in our daily lives back home, that many people feel the need to release all that pent up noise and just TALK. They’re loud and they’re proud of where they hail from. I think it’s an American thing. The foreign types I’ve seen like the Germans, the Spaniards, the Chinese don’t seem to talk as loudly as the Americans.

You don’t like to see big bellies and by-pass operation scars by the poolside. Cruisers are very proud of their bodies, no matter what shape or size they come in. And if they got scars, well, show ‘em off, they seem to say, as they parade around the pool (and sometimes around the dining areas, library and shops), scars in full view. I know you know that I’m a bit of a shy guy, some might say a prude but a scar is one thing. A big belly is another. But big bellies with scars just don’t look good together.

You don’t like people watching. If you don’t like people watching or observing how people on board remind you of people back home, try another kind of vacationing. I for one LOVE watching people and looking at how much they remind me of famous people is one activity I get into here. Everyone we’ve met on board does it! Even the nice couple from Minne-SOH-tah that we’ve been fortunate to share our dinner table with each evening does it. The woman who sits behind us each night is “Lucille Ball.” “Look, Lucille Ball is getting on tour number 4.” The Asian guy with the long white hair and moustache is “Mr. Miyagi.” “Mr. Miyagi” was doing the 4000 piece crossword puzzle in the library.” Last night I found myself saying to everyone at the dinner table that I ran into Wilford Brimley in the elevator and everyone nodded in agreement, knowing exactly whom I was talking about. It’s fun!



Anyway, back to my travels. After two days of open sea cruising (I spent time reading, going to the movies (saw a great little movie called “The Visitor” and napping) I woke up early yesterday morning in Israel. It had been 20 years since I’d been to Israel and I had forgotten what a beautiful country it is. And safe. I had a chance to talk to our tour guide Moshe about the threat of terrorism and he said that it was all a matter of perspective. He said to take into account the number of days in the year that you DON’T hear about something bad happening in Israel (or any place for that matter). He also said if he believed the news, the US is more dangerous than Israel. He said the news from the US is always about school shootings, hurricanes, commuter train accidents and child abductions. Perspective.

It was interesting to note that during the course of this trip, I got 4 emails from friends who sent me news about 8 tourists kidnapped in Egypt. Was it a warning not to go there? (Too late, tour ticket’s been paid for). Eight million tourists visit Egypt each year; I’m not good at math but 8 out of 8 million is a pretty small percentage. I know, I know, you’re just watching out for me but again, try looking at the world from the opposite end of the binoculars. The stuff up close looks awfully small if you just turn the binoculars around and look in the other end. Every day people die, but babies are born. Every day, people get into car accidents and many die, but millions more enjoy the road. And every day people travel all over the world visiting the most exotic and wonderful places and a very small, small, small percentage are kidnapped or killed.

One thing that has changed in Israel since I was last here is the traffic. It’s crowded as hell on Israeli highways and many times I thought it made LA traffic look like Christmas morning. They don’t drive fast in Israel but they drive crazy. Cars come perilously close to each other as they drive down narrow streets; but no one seems to get hit! Pedestrians are brave too; they dart in and out of cars and manage to make it across the street in one piece, even as vehicles barrel down on them. It’s funny that I’ve seen more accidents on big wide highways in the States than the narrow little streets or scary traffic circles that you see all over Europe and the Middle East


That being said, after a few hours of landing in beautiful Haifa (reminded me of San Francisco with it’s hills and seaside locale), we found ourselves at the Jaffa Gate, ready to proceed on foot into the Old City, Jerusalem. The golden stones which the city is built from and which brightly reflects the sunlight, only enhanced the sense of holiness that surrounds the city.


Our first stop was the Church of the Holy Sepulcher, the church erected on the site where Jesus was crucified. Imagine climbing a narrow set of steps with people from all over the world, speaking every language imaginable to a small hole in the ground where the cross that Jesus died upon was placed in the ground. The wait to see the spot where Jesus was resurrected was even more crowded and the line to crawl into the room, 6 people at a time, was 2 ½ hours long. The best bet to get close to Jesus was the slab of rock where his body was purified. That only required a few minutes wait as people kissed the stone, placed their money and crucifixes on it (obviously to bless the crucifixes but I couldn’t figure out why they put their money on it). Even as Jew, I was in awe of the history of the place; a church where millions of people over the eons have come to pray and remember a man who started out as a simple carpenter.



Our next stop was the magnificent Western (Wailing) Wall. I had only been here once before and it still gave me goose pimples when I walked up to it. There at the wall, I saw the thousands of notes placed in the cracks as I placed the 8 notes that friends had given me. I also said a personal prayer and then, of course, did the tourist thing and began snapping pictures. I didn’t want to forget the moment. My dad walked over in his floppy hat and smiled broadly for the camera. Not bad for an 84 year old guy!

The rest of the day was devoted to walking in and among the streets of Jerusalem. It was interesting to hear from our jovial Israeli tour guide that the Arabs in Israel were just that - Arabs - and he seemed to refuse to recognize any of them as Palestinians. He also told me that most Israelis are not religious, contrary to what many might think. Patriotic yes, religious no. But here and there, we did see the familiar black hats, long coats and beards and we laughed to hear Moshe say “why they think that wearing clothes from 100 years ago in Russia in 90 degree heat means you will be closer to God, makes no sense to me.”

We left Israel watching traffic crawl on the other side going into Jerusalem for at least 20 miles and the Mediterranean sun setting before us. If any of you ever had doubts of coming to Israel, get rid of them. The sense of history is just too much to ignore. Plus they’ve got the best hummus this side of Pico Boulevard.



Next we visited the largely unconsidered island of Cyprus. I say unconsidered because how many of you would ever think of going there? It’s really quite interesting; an amalgam of Greek, Turkish and British cultures. It’s supposedly the birthplace of Aphrodite and we visited many sites of antiquities devoted to her and her mate, Apollo. But more importantly, it’s the home of Haloumi cheese! Yes the only cheese you can throw on the grill (I learned that from our very musky smelling but pleasant tour guide). We visited a small Greek Cypriot village, tasted some very sweet Cypriot wine and marveled at the overpriced souvenirs.

Yesterday we’re cruised our way to Egypt and waited to begin our tour at --groan -- 6 am. That’s because we landed in Alexandria and Cairo was 3 hours away. In fact, we had signed up for a 12-hour tour where we were scheduled to see the Pyramids at Giza and the much-heralded Egyptian Museum. No matter what time I had to get up, I was determined to go, as I’ve wanted to see the Pyramids for years. Last year it was the Great Wall and this year it had to be the Pyramids. (Maybe next year it will be the Taj Mahal in Agra, India)

Egypt was fascinating. My first impression was that it was pretty poor as countries go. Many buildings are left empty, litter covers the highways and public transportation consists of several people jamming into private mini buses. The landscape was definitely desert and reminded me of parts of Mexico – cactus, date palms and dry riverbeds. But what was fascinating was the influence of religion on daily life. Unlike in Turkey where being a Muslim wasn’t necessarily reflected in the clothes that you wear, in Egypt you’ll rarely see a woman’s head uncovered. At one point in the Egyptian Museum, I saw the freakiest sight – three women dressed in black, head to toe with just their eyes exposed looking into a display case of mummified animals. The room must have been 90 degrees (no A/C at the Egyptian Museum so if you want a sauna experience, go there first) and yet they walked about without a bead of sweat on their eyebrows (all I could see!). Wild!


When we drove into Cairo and saw the Pyramids in the distance, I found myself bouncing up and down as if I was ten years old again waiting to see the Matterhorn along side the San Diego Freeway on our way to Disneyland. Funny, they looked just like the Luxor Hotel from afar! But when we drove up to them, the size and grandeur of 3 pyramids perched on a sandy hill was just awe inspiring. I couldn’t believe I was finally there.


I also couldn’t believe how much of humanity was there; thousands of people, on foot, on bus, on camel -- all crowding the site. And it was hot – Palm Springs hot; about 90 degrees and a very warm wind blowing the dust about. Nevertheless, I tackled my photo taking in earnest and snapped about as many angles as I could of the spectacular stone structures. Next we ventured to the magnificent Sphinx, which, as I’m sure you’ve all heard, is not as big as you would imagine.


But I was impressed nonetheless probably because the damn thing has always appeared to the statue where all the world’s secrets reside. The sight of the sand colored statue, worn and weathered by time, as it gazes towards the East, and knowing how many people over thousands of years have come to visit it is overwhelming. You can’t help but take pictures as if you’ve seen a UFO for the first time. By the time we left the Sphinx, I was dripping in sweat having had to contend with thousands of people who ventured together through stone corridors to find the right vista which to see the spectacular Sphinx.



After a great lunch at the Cairo Hilton, we made our last stop at the magnificent Egyptian Museum, the largest museum of Egyptian antiquities in the world. It was crazy to think that we had only 2 hours to see over 500,000 pieces so we budgeted our time wisely and tackled the main exhibits like the Rosetta Stone and the treasures of King Tut. The museum was oppressively hot – no air conditioning as I said EXCEPT in the King Tut treasure room. Once we found it, we all huddled in there like dogs lying on a cool garage floor trying to escape the summer heat. But it was certainly worth it to see that funeral mask, in all its gold and lapis glory once again (remember when the King Tut exhibit and all the hoopla that accompanied it came to the US in the late 70’s?). Even the creepy room of mummies at 90 degrees was worth the visit. It’s too bad they didn’t allow cameras; otherwise I would have been there for hours snapping away.

We got back to the ship at 7:30, tired and sunburned but satisfied that we saw sights that not many have a chance to see. Which brings me to the point that I want to make here. Travel if you can. The world is so damn interesting to stay locked up at home. If you’re afraid of what might happen, fuggedaboutit. You’ve been watching the news too much. There are millions of tourists who visit these places every day and the chances are greater that you’ll slip and fall in your bathtub than suffer some terrible fate while traveling on the road in some faraway country.

And if you can’t afford to travel, open up a book and read about those faraway places. Go to the bookstore and open up a big atlas and see how many countries you can read about; renew your subscription to National Geographic (and when you’re done with a bunch of issues, give them to a school or donate them to the Goodwill; they love to take them!). You will find yourself amazed and fascinated by the variety of the world’s culture and its people when you have the chance to see it in person or through the lens of travel books and magazines. Travel is a great leveler. One you’re away from home, you find all the cultural arrogance you carry with you slipping away and in its place, and you’ll find some much needed humility. I can’t live without it.

I’ll be back home tomorrow night but going right back to work and this time traveling to more sedate places like Alabama and Michigan. In the meantime, I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about this trip as much as I have had writing about it.
Cheers,
655Jack